There aren't any deliveries at this hour.. so I find myself doing more research for my journey. The first time I heard of Andrew Skurka was by looking up the Sea to Sea route. I visited his website, but I really didn't know much about him. Later, I listened to an interview on Backpacker Radio, and began to appreciate his knowledge and readiness for such journeys. He's much older than me, so at first I found it difficult to relate, but now I see him as an inspiration, and am using his advice to plan my journey. Today I watched his Google talk about gear and knowledge for such adventures, and it was a very insightful talk. I searched through his blog for information on his Sea to Sea trek, but found it lacking in specifics, except for his presentation, which I watched twice. Later, when I heard his interview on BPR, I realized it was probably because he mentioned being young and not having the best gear he could've had at the time. I began to fear the possibility of below freezing temperatures and macerated feet, and this is when the seriousness of this undertaking became very clear to me. I realized that I would need to change my gear for different parts of my journey, and that the true cost of this expedition would be much higher than anticipated.
I am starting to think of mailing myself gear at certain points, as he mentioned.. the problem is.. I don't have anyone at home to hold it for me.. I would have to purchase the gear during the journey and mail it then. I guess my top priority is being able to afford everything, and then making sure that I made the right choices in gear durability. I admit, I don't know if I can do this. At first I believed anything is possible.. but I start to think about being in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a field of snow, with temperatures below freezing.. I know that living in the present moment and being mindful is the best solution to this worry. Because despite how scary it may seem, when I'm actually there, when I'm cold and alone, all I will have to do is get through the next moment, and then it'll be day again, and I'll continue on. Nothing is permanent. The snow will thaw.. the landscape will change.. and I won't be snowshoeing forever.
I'm grateful that others have shared their experiences and knowledge, and it makes me feel like this journey is possible. I found out about wet snow versus dry snow, waterproofing and when it wouldn't be ideal, synthetic versus down and how humidity plays a role. I realized that I should focus on seeing historical weather and snow patterns, and tailor my gear towards specific conditions at specific parts of my journey. This complicates everything by a hundred, but I still have months to go, and I am dedicating my life to planning this journey. I'm eager to continue this path, and I trust that it will become easier as I continue my research and planning. I can't fill myself with fear, I must push through it and use my mind to overcome it.
Today I will focus on work, I have been set back in my tent savings because of travel to a therapy appointment, so I'm motivated to push through and build up my gear. I hope today is my first day of not drinking beer. I must believe in myself. Talk to you soon.
-Alex
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