I can't pretend that everything is fine. The truth is that I can't go more than two days without drinking. I am so tired of my life and how things have unfolded. Every time I drink I hate myself even more. I wish I could just stop forever, that I wouldn't need to drink anymore. I guess I just have a hard time dealing with my life and the pain of what happened to me. It's important to accept things, to move forward and try to get better. I can't sit and feel pathetic about it, I must take action. There isn't much else to say.. tonight I fall asleep woozy.. tomorrow morning I wake up feeling self hatred and shame.. I want to break the cycle.. but maybe I just don't believe in myself enough. Time will tell.. maybe this journey will help me.. or maybe I will lose it all because of my addiction.. maybe I will quit.. but.. maybe.. I might just overcome it.
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